An Ectopic Pregnancy
Saturday June 30, 2018
I woke up in tremendous pain, it felt like someone was stabbing the right side of my abdomen. Five days earlier we found out that I was pregnant, again. My first thought was that my appendix ruptured, my second was that I was having a miscarriage. Will looked at me with a very serious expression and asked if I wanted to go to the ER. That was the last thing I expected to hear out of his mouth but considering the circumstances I agreed. We checked into the ER at 6:30 AM, the pain was at a 15/10! There is a conversation I had with a nurse in the ER that I’ve played over and over in my head. The nurse asked if we had been pregnant before.. “Yes, this is my third pregnancy”... “How many living children?”... “None.”
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After three ultrasounds, blood tests, and a few hours of waiting they finally had the results. My blood had high amounts of pregnancy hormone, the amount they would expect to find if I was pregnant. The ultrasound showed large amounts of complex free fluid in my pelvis, an enlarged ovary, and no signs of a baby. Coincidentally, the OBGYN on call happened to be the same doctor that delivered Liam. He informed us that I had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured in my Fallopian tube. He would perform a laparoscopic surgery to stop the bleeding, remove any blood, and assess any other damage done.
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At 12:30 they wheeled me into the OR, the last thing I remember is saying bye bye to the four amazing doctors and nurses. Then I woke up to the oxygen tube tickling my nose. The surgery went great, however, my Fallopian tube was not salvageable. The doctor is very optimistic about our chances of conceiving in the future. Thankfully it was an outpatient procedure and I was able to go home about an hour after surgery. I have been slowly recovering and trying to wrap my head around the past few weeks. I am constantly thanking Will for forcing me to go to the ER. Ectopic pregnancies can be life threatening, who knows if I would be alive had I “toughed it out” at home.
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After Liam’s death many women reached out to me with stories of miscarriage, still birth, and babies that never left the hospital. My heart broke with each secret I read. Stories of fallen angels that were never shared. Miscarriage is classified as a very common condition with over 3 million annual cases in the US. That number surprised me, but what surprises me even more is how many women don’t talk about it. Society has stigmatized miscarriage as something to be ashamed of, we isolate women and avoid the topic because it makes us “uncomfortable”. I am not embarrassed or ashamed of this part of our story. It is heart breaking for us, being parents to three little angels in Heaven.
*Update: I was successful in conceiving, growing & delivering two healthy babies after my ectopic. Both babies came from my right ovary - the side without a Fallopian tube. It’s amazing what our bodies are capable of!
