Liam’s Story

Liam Jace DeVoy was born on June 14, 2017 at St. Anthony’s Hospital in Frisco, Colorado.

At birth, Liam’s oxygen levels were at 98%, which is rare at our elevation. (9,500’) He was always physically two months advanced. Liam was only sick twice in his first year of life, both times a small cold after traveling. Needless to say, Liam was an extremely healthy baby!

Friday, May 4, 2018:

We had a weekend staycation planned! Will was going to pick us up after work and take us to Beaver Run Resort in Breckenridge. Liam’s top four teeth had been trying to come in for a few weeks and he was in a grumpy mood. That being said, this was the first morning in a week that he didn’t feel warm when he woke up. He temperature was at 98.3! 

After his morning nap I decided to give Liam a bath to brighten his spirits. He sat in the tub patiently, not quite as joyful as I had hoped. He stood up at the end, holding on to the side of the tub while I wrapped him in a towel burrito. I picked him up and he snuggled his head into my chest. We spent a minute cuddling while I dried his hair. We walked into his nursery to get him dressed, as I went to lay him down I noticed he no longer had control of his head and body. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and his eye lids fluttered. 

I quickly threw the towel down, put him on his side and held him close while I tried waking him up. Within 60 seconds he lost his bowels. I put him on the floor to begin CPR, he had no pulse. I think I knew then, I didn’t want to believe it... but i knew. I frantically tried to dial 911. I had to call 911 over 10 times before I gave up and ran, with Liam in my arms, to my neighbor’s house. I finally heard the ring when I dialed 911... I laid Liam on their front porch, still naked from his bath. I performed CPR on my son while I waited, and waited. The sheriff arrived first, he took over CPR. Then we waited, and waited. Two ambulances and a fire truck arrived next. Finally I heard a helicopter above. I sat in the police car and waited, and waited. They worked on him in the ambulance for what seemed like hours. Soon a kind woman walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. She whispered “I am so sorry, we did everything we could for him.” The following hours were the worst of my life. 

When I stepped into the ambulance Liam was laying on the stretcher. He had wires all around him. He had an intubation tube down his throat that they would not remove. I couldn’t even kiss his pouty little lips. Within minutes Will arrived home from work, he walked into the ambulance and we held each other and cried. They talked to us, I had no idea what they were saying though. All I heard was that they still didn’t know why and that he appeared to be healthy. They helped us wrap him in a blanket to cover up the wires. We held him and loved on Liam for maybe 30 minutes. When the coroner arrived the entire mood shifted. 

We were placed under investigation for the murder of our son.

The coroners began their “speech” if you will, they informed us that the following events would be traumatic but to remember they are just following protocol. The coroners explained that they are advocates for the deceased, they speak for the ones that can not. I know that not all babies have loving parents and I know that some parents do horrific things to their children. Knowing and understanding those things did not make the questioning any easier. I was still trying to process what had happened to Liam, I was still hoping to hear him cry and miraculously come back to life. After their initial examination of Liam’s body they allowed us to say goodbye to him. We laid on the stretcher and soaked up our last moments with Liam.

The detective asked us to sign a paper letting him search our RV. If we refused we would have to wait for him to get a search warrant, of course we complied. We waited for what seemed like an hour while the coroners and detective searched our tiny space. When we were allowed back into the RV they began the interrogation. Tons of personal questions about us, Liam, his birth, his medical history, his life, our parenting, our lives. We had and still have nothing to hide. However, being innocent doesn’t make being accused of killing your child easier. We had to sit there and basically convince these people that we are loving parents and never did anything that we thought would harm Liam.

Just when I thought the nightmare was over, the coroner handed me a doll. It was made of cloth with an overweighted head. It was about the same size/weight as Liam. She then asked me to re-enact Liam’s death. Beginning right before his bath, ending when I left the RV. What was I going to do? Say no? So I picked up the doll and proceeded to act out my son’s death. Pausing throughout, so the coroner could take pictures. I laid the doll on Liam’s changing table and pretended to undress it, pretended to give it a bath, pretended to give it CPR... meanwhile every time I glanced at the doll’s face I saw Liam.

The coroner called us the next morning to inform us that they had finished his autopsy and found no physical explanation for Liam’s death. SIDS and SUIDS were ruled out because he was awake when he passed away. They sent his blood and tissue samples off to be tested, they even did extensive genetic testing. Many months went by before we heard back from them. They declared his death to be undetermined, undetermined. This is the best answer we have, even though it really isn’t an answer at all. Our healthy happy baby boy was alive one minute and gone the next, and modern medicine//science can’t tell us why. Based on the autopsy and my description of Liam’s death, the professionals feel it was most likely a heart arrhythmia or a seizure. Unfortunately there is no way to test for either of those postmortem and both could go completely unnoticed in life.

We are grateful for the knowledge that there was nothing we could have done to prevent Liam’s death. It is also comforting to know that he wasn’t suffering beforehand with an illness we were unaware of. Not having an answer has also left us with fear. Fear that no matter how prepared we are, it could happen again. We have done all the preventative tests we can on our living children, all tears have come back normal.

We are blessed to have had 324 days with Liam. We find comfort in knowing that Liam knew nothing but unconditional love. Liam’s death has taught us that life is too precious and short. It’s taught us that, in the grand scheme of things, we have no control. So love the people in your life that love you, and treat each day as the blessing it is.